Sometimes one or two persons in a team determine the energy of a group. It makes a huge difference if they are present. But actually each member influences a group. Or could do so. Each of us can have impact, make a difference in many situations. Quite often we would like to have an impact, but we do very little. In groups, situations, relationships that do not run smoothly, we do not deal with it. When asked, we react rather flat. And something feels not quite right.
My name is Adinda Bremer. I have a lot of experience with the flat version of myself in lots of situations, but I rather make a difference. My way is to search with people what they need to make their difference. So they can make a real contribution to the situations they find themselves in.
You may come to me for individual issues where you got ‘stuck’ in life, such as stress, depression, unhelpful recurring patterns. Or for personal questions regarding making a difference, like your leadership, your impact or interaction with others. Or you may come for team development. For topics such as getting different team members on board and cooperating as a unit.
Or you may come with something different in mind. To give you an idea I list some of the issues I deal with in my own and other peoples lives.
How to deal with this difficult co worker?
How to stay transparant and authentic in my interactions? Relationships are everything: they are mirrors, they are annoying, they are nourishing. The world around you is only so much changeable, but you yourself are wonderfully multi capable and the people around you organize those discoveries.
Would you like to make good use of differences?
Teams consist of different persons by nature and for sure they are different. Sometimes we name differences in terms of ‘better’ and ‘worse’. Quite annoying for the one who is thought to be ‘worse’ and teamwork usually does not grow ‘better’ from this. Try a different approach.
What are intercultural skills? Is it still possible to be yourself?
My mum is from an Indonesian background, she loves rice and modesty. My Dutch dad and classmates were more into potatoes and valued assertiveness. Growing up, I wanted to choose wisely. And exactly choosing felt silly. Just as you may enjoy rice ánd potatoes, you may value modesty ánd assertiveness.
What to do with physical ailments without physical reason?
I had a sleeping disorder myself since the age of six. After decades of exams it became clear there was no medical reason for it. I had always feared the possibility that it could be ‘mental’. But what a relief when I learned to ‘deal with it’. The eye opener I could manage myself.
Personal coaching often is about people’s wish to make sense of their inner world, to improve dealing with situations that require some interaction. Probably the core of coaching is honestly facing what is going on in your life. If people can not or do not face the situation as it is, energy leaks in denial and resistance. The moment people honestly face what is, mildness comes over them – and they find. the strength. to deal. with it. It is the moment where you rule your emotions and thoughts, instead of them ruling you.
It is wonderful we are so unique and all that. But it also means each person has to get to
Coaching starts with a free session. We take some time for introductions. Apart from getting to know each other I introduce you to my way of working by working with you right away. It is helpful, it is free and it is a good way to decide whether I am the right choice for you. It is also helpful for me to make an estimation about the amount of sessions and frequency that would be fitting.
If you do not live near Zierikzee, Zeeland, but somewhere else, Skype is an option. Skype coaching also starts with a free first session.
As an only child my home situation gave me a bit of a set back in team experience. I made up for it by paying attention, giving it extra tries and studying. As a result conscious team development, interaction that works and behavior you can dispense of, has a prominent place in my life. People differ a lot. But also, people are people everywhere and what makes them happy in life and work, is similar. Genuine attention for all opinions makes better decisions, makes better teams, and also creates a better version of yourself: relationships are everything in life. We need the other, for support and for feedback.
A mix of individuals in a team does not give a fixed outcome whether ‘it works’ or ‘does not work’. Team development is the journey to figure the dynamics, assumptions and interaction within a specific team. To make sense of the differences instead of calling them ‘more or less the same’. And exactly that: noticing, naming and bridging differences is what
After my master in Cultural Anthropology I wanted to work with cultural differences in daily life. I became facilitator for work councils: teams with people from all different levels of the company. Such diverse teams have a peculiar characteristic: they score clearly better or worse than homogenous teams. Never average. Because that is not what they are.
Many years and many works councils later, I moved to China. My own culture shock. When I came back to Europe I was given the opportunity to join Organisational Behaviour classes at Insead, an international business school. Insead hosts Indians, Arabs, Russians, Southafricans, Nigerians, Danish, Bulgarians, Latin-Americans, Canadians and puts them in mixed teams. Cultural differences, personal differences and the development to use every one of them for excellent teams.
After such practise I am certain: Teams are possibly the best place to stimulate and acknowledge people to be their best. Because after all, you can only be yourself in connection with others. It would be a waste to not figure out where the opening of this possibility hides in your team.
A research about my work once read: ‘Counseling helps, but according to which method hardly makes a difference’. I reckon that is true. Depending on the person or question, I choose for Transactional Analysis, outdoor experiential education, family constellations, Voice Dialogue, cultural values, solution focused coaching, cognitive behavioral therapy or Happiness@Work. It should make your life or team understandable instead of chaotic.
While studying Cultural Anthropology I specialised in Culture, Organization and Management. That means I look for patterns in agreements or unchecked assumptions in disagreements. By pinpointing and naming what characterizes this specific group, team members recognize and manage it more easily because there is ‘language’ for their automatic patterns and behaviour. It is like psychology for groups.
Inevitably, this made me realise how groups are made up of different persons. There is lots of psycho-social theories. I spent years getting familiar with Gestalt therapy, Family Constellations and Transactional Analysis. A mix of looking at the situation as a whole, at the dynamics between people leading to understanding one’s personal life.
People and performance. People who are happy at work, perform better. It makes sense, but how exactly does one influence the other? By certifying for Happiness@Work I got into a field where they researched what happiness at work is made of. It tests what matters for each of us. And done as a team it gives detailed insight how to make everyone happy.
Team training has a history of ‘outdoor’ education. For a reason. Cooperation is not something you learn by watching a power point together. The more ‘real’ an activity is, the better you feel what triggers your motivation, doubts and limits. You are involved with your whole being, more than an observer. That makes the debrief where you reflect what influenced the group process, more valuable and outspoken. And that, makes you start understanding your own conditions for cooperation. At Outward Bound I learned to work in a way you can experience it. So you reflect from your being, and not just from your thoughts.
Time and again I work or live abroad. Living on Bonaire added to my life experiences. To feel what it means if your world is an island. How limitations shape me differently. Living in China taught me how I can find my place in such a vast and foreign world. In South Africa I felt my deep wish to let differences shed a positive light on matters. In the Netherlands I am home, and together with my Indonesian background, that makes up my roots. In Abu Dhabi I made my life impossible with my westerness, but I did not need to be further away from home than Belgium to learn to be more polite. I guess I love the uneasy feeling of not exactly knowing ‘how to behave’ because it keeps me sensitive for ‘other possibilities’. In that open mind-area resides respect and curiosity for our diversity.
That same curiosity also still feeds my work. After 17 years of coaching, each conversation still is fresh, new in some respects. Just as I like living in different cultures, I like working with different people and in different areas of my field.
If people are that different, it means interaction is an art. I learn that living is about recognizing mistakes while you make them. It makes me mild towards us all. And it makes me determined to become an artisan and an artist in one.
Hanenweg 13 4317 NJ Noordgouwe
+316 5511 5551
Our first appointment is free of charge. It is a 1,5-2 hour session. I feel it is important that we both make a conscious choice. For me to get clarity how to facilitate your question in a way that would satisfy us and for you to decide whether my way of working fits you, because it will cost time, input and money. To give you an idea what it will be like, I will start working with your question on our first appointment. Sometimes that solves the issue completely.
Team training or facilitation also starts with a first appointment free of charge. The difference is that usually not all people involved can be present in that first meeting. So we talk about the work, more than we can get to work. After this encounter I will send you my estimation of effort and money involved.
One last thing
Sometimes it is difficult to get hold of me on the phone. What works well is to send me an email with your phone number: I will call you back.
+316 5511 5551